Following is our collection of funny Suspicious jokes. There are some suspicious skeptical jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these suspicious questionable puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Friendship Between Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The suspicious husband called his wife's 10 best friends. none of them knew about it. Friendship Between Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The suspicious woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army. Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?" Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"

Joe invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the course of said dinner his mother couldn't help but notice the staggering beauty of Joe's roommate. She had been long suspicious of a relationship between them, and her beauty combined with the banter she had seen them share only made her all the more curious. Joe noticed his mother's suspicion. "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you that Julie and I are just roommates." A week later, Julie came to Joe and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't seem to find the gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it on accident, do you?" Joe agreed that it was a reasonable possibility, and wrote a letter to his mother inquiring about the ladle. It read, "I'm not saying you 'did' take the ladle, nor am I saying you 'did not' take the ladle,' but the fact is it's been missing since you came to dinner last week." Several weeks later, a reply came. "I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Julie, nor am I saying you 'do not' sleep with Julie. The fact is if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now."

They get puled over by a cop. The cop asks, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I know where I am." The officer becomes suspicious, so he asks to check the trunk. He looks inside and asks, "Did you know that there is a dead cat in your trunk?" Schrodinger replies, "I do now."

He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight. The man leaves and comes home after a few days and looks under his bed to find a bowl of butter.

Police are not treating the death as suspicious. They believe he topped himself.

but I think it's a little suspicious she married him less than a week after his death.

his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking, Sir?" "No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?" "No," replies the officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat broad in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."

Her husband's getting suspicious.

Don't know they're just a bit shady.

Two terrorists discussing in a bar. The waiter finds their behavior suspicious so he comes to their table and asks: "What are you talking about?" Terrorist: "We are planning to kill five hundered people and a goat." Waiter: "Why a goat?" The first terrorist says to the other: "See? I told you nobody will care about five hundered people."

You can explore suspicious faithfulness reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean suspicious definition of suspicious dad jokes. There are also suspicious puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

They didn't believe I bought a gym membership.

Who else would be a single parent whose Son was killed by the authorities under suspicious circumstances?

when the Chinese guy offered to wok my dog for me …

She decides to report it to the pilot immediately. "Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!" The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."

Dear customer, We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/illegal downloading on your network.

I'm not normally suspicious but she hasn't got a car

One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

There was a suspicious phone call this morning which I answered. A male voice asked "Has that dope gone yet?"

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. You're running around with other women, she charged. You're being unreasonable, Adam responded. You're the only woman on Earth. The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. What do you think you're doing? Adam demanded. Counting your ribs!

I dot my i's on you! -Heard this from an 85 year old lady in a nursing facility. The mental image of this joke is quite funny!

Because "daddy" would be too suspicious

I mean, they always raise a few red flags.

"A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor and asked the woman who answered the door, "Is Fred home?" "Sorry, Fred's gone for cotton." The next day the bill collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?" "No, sir. I'm afraid he has gone for cotton." When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" "No, Fred died yesterday." Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and check the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with the inscription, "Gone, But Not for Cotton.""

so he bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. I suppose now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread , said the wife. Why? asked the husband, Don't we have a vase?

I'd wonder why.

Funnily enough the exact same percent I gave myself when my teacher told us we could mark our own tests and I didn't want to look suspicious

Donald Trump is approaching the wall prototypes when suddenly a secret service agent yells "Mickey Mouse!". A man appears to have jumped across the boarder holding something suspicious. The secret service agents tackle him and the situation is secure. Someone then asks what the Mickey Mouse shouting was about. The agent goes "I was startled, I meant to say Donald Duck!"

Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer Instinct. So, do you think you are eligible? Man: Sir... Can my wife apply?

They drive a German Car They go to Irish Pubz To drink Belgium beer They get a Chinese Takeaway on the way back They sit on Swedish furniture They watch American films On a Japanese TV Most of all though they are suspicious of all things foreign Courtesy of Rick Wakemam who I'm doing lighting for tonight. (super chill guy btw)

Then it becomes suspicious.

But I'm on my fourth car this year now. This is getting kind of expensive and I think the police are suspicious.

...and drive to this dude's place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects

Eve became suspicious. Are you running around with another woman? Eve fired off. What other woman? Adam exclaimed You're it! That night, Adam was awakened by Eve poking him in the chest. What are you doing? Counting your ribs.

An American flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board and reports it to the captain. "Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking! There is an extremely sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, almost like she has no idea what is going to happen next. The man she is with is a fat old slob and old enough to be her father. He's very sleazy, very sullen and although he speaks English, it is impossible to make out what he's trying to say." The captain sighed and replied, "look Susan, we've been through this many times before, this is Air Force One..."

I said, "It must be my weekend immune system."

a man was pouring colored water every day on the streets of his town one day his neigbhour called the police because he was pouring suspicious liquids on the streets when the police came they asked the man:" what are you pouring on the streets? " the guy said: "i was pouring anti crocodile liquids " the officer said:" but there are no crocodiles in this town" the guy said" you are welcome"

I'm always suspicious of people who use AutoCAD... they always seem to be plotting something.

He stopped a man walking past and asked, "Seen anything unusual?" "I saw a dolphin wearing a hat once," said the man. "I meant around here," the cop said annoyed. *"Nah man, they live in the water."*

If you run at 11 PM you are a night person. If you run at 5 AM you are a morning person. If you run at 3 AM you are a suspicious person.

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. You're running around with other women, she charged. You're being unreasonable, Adam responded. You're the only woman on Earth. The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone **poking** him in the chest. It was Eve. What do you think you're doing? Adam demanded. *Counting your ribs!*

>!Its i's are too close together!

Heisenberg, Shrodinger and Ohm were driving down a highway when they get pulled over by a cop. The cop asks Heisenberg if he knew how fast he was going, as you can surmise, he claimed he didn't know because he knew exactly where they were. The cop, finding this suspicious asks them to open the trunk. He comes back to the front and asks them why they have a dead cat in the trunk and Shrodinger responds, "because you opened the trunk you fool!!". The cop, now visibly irritated promptly moves to arrest all three. Ohm, resisted.

Epson didn't kill itself.

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are in a car. They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?" "No, but I know exactly where I am!" Heisenberg replies. The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!" The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "You have a dead cat back here!" "We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrodinger.

Greg was acting very suspicious latetly so I had to kill him before he could do any harm.

Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car... ... And they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?" "No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies. The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!" The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?" "We do now, asshole!" shouts Schroedinger. The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.

Pedro gets a New Secretary. He faces a volley of rapid fire questions from his wife, who is always a bit suspicious of her husband's roving eye. Dora (Pedro's wife): Does your new secretary have nice legs?" Pedro: Didn't quite notice." Dora: "What color are her eyes?" Pedro: Haven't had the time to check." Dora: "What are the nail polish colors she uses, metallic, gel or neon ?" Pedro: Not a clue in the world." Dora: "Does she wear matte, glossy or frosted lipstick? Pedro: I barely spoke to her, so don't know. Dora: "How does she dress?" Pedro: "Very quickly

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.  "You're running around with other women." she charged.  "You're being very unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on Earth."  The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.  "Just what do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.  "Counting your ribs," replied Eve

It's a big red flag for me.

During a job interview, the interviewer asked me if I had any impressive qualities? I said, "Yes, I'm very fast with math!" Suspicious he asked me to prove it. He told me to solve 327x49. I said 34,567! He pulled out his calculator and put it in. With a confused look on his face he says, "That's not even close!" I said, "Yeah, but it was fast though!" No idea where the original came from but this one gets me every time.

This seems very suspicious to me!

Cuz calling them Daddy would be too suspicious.

I left with plenty of time to arrive at school on time, but it was so slippery that every step I took, I slipped two steps back. Well, said the teacher, with a suspicious look on his face, how in the world did you get here at all? Well, replied the student, finally after twenty minutes I gave up and started heading home!

Mister E...

Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, sweaty, old slob who looks like a sexual deviant! The captain responds, You must be new here. This is Air Force One.

Pretty sure she's plotting something.

How come, every single year some one from our planet wins?

Salim Shady

Inuit!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the suspicious skeptically puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working suspicious curious piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy