住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说，"我是个单身汉." 二、死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭 Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho. Husband:It's okey. To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻子:你看这张报纸，据统计，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。 丈夫:那有什么?据我调查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。 三、位置上的冰激凌 "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine." "Yours?Can you prove it?" "Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it." "请原谅，你占了我的位置." "你的位置?你能征明这点吗?" "能，我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌." 四、别无选择 One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?" Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?" 一天，夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?" 亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?" 很多同学记不住单词，也背不会作文，但是记笑话却是一流的，如果能记住这些英语幽默小故事对英语也会有很大帮助。同学们对笑话都英语也有一些幽默段子，如果能用英语比较关注，能激发学生的学习热情，培养学习兴趣，养成良好的阅读习惯。所以，沪江小编建议老师们可以为学生提供一些英语幽默笑话，有利于大家的英语学习。  

以为是枚钉子.他把两只瓶子朝上一挂,瓶子掉下来摔碎了,酒洒了一地.一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后,对他深表同情,决定他个忙. 于是,第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时,她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方. 这里,老人回到了房里.倒洒的酒味让他想幽默起了那件事.他抬头往墙上一看,苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近,使尽全力拍了一掌.听到一声大叫,好心的女服务员冲进房来.让她大为吃惊的是,可怜的老头正坐在地板上,牙关紧咬,右手滴血不止. 以上便是沪江小编带大家感受到的英语幽默故事，这些故事来源于生活，简单易懂。这些故事的作者也是崇尚简单，也充满对生活的热爱。

幽默笑话，有中文的，也有英文的，英语

      英语幽默小故事 Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。

球员学业不行，院方不愿录取。 有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说：“那我最好先问问他几个问题。” 然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。 最后院长说：“那么，五乘七得多少?” 学生想了很久，然后回答说：“三十六。” 院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说，“噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。” Be Careful What You Wish For 慎重许愿 A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 怎么样?看了这两篇英语幽默小故事，你笑英语的幽默故事你知道多少呢?由于各国的国情、文化背景等诸多因素的原因，可能大家对于幽默了吗?你理解了这种幽默吗?不管怎么说，作为扩展我们的英语阅读范围还是很有好处的。锻炼自己的英语语感方面，如果有兴趣大家可以多看看这样的幽默小故事。

英语是我们学习的主要科目之一，也是除了汉语以外，我们学习的第二大语言。随着英语的运用越来越广泛，重视英语的人也越来越多。学习英语没有捷径，但是有很多方法，只要找到适合自己的方法，一定可以学有所成。下面，沪江小编给大家分享两篇英语小故事，大家可以欣赏一下。 Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互英语是我们学习的主要科目之一，也是除了汉语以外，我们学习的第二大语言。随着英语的运用越来越广泛，重视英语的人也越来越多。学习英语相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised. "How old are you?" he said. "Eighteen, sir," said John. "But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?" "Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am." 大五个月 第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 “你多大了?”军医问。 “十八，长官。”约翰说。 “可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?” 约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。” 学好英语的好处有很多，可以增加自己的外交能力，可以为以后的出国留学做准备。在这里，小编给大家推荐沪江英语网网，这是一个专业的英语学习网站。上面还有很多关于英语的学习资讯，大家还可以通过沪江英语网和其他学员进行英语互动。

英语说的生硬、没有生气，其实英语中有许多雷人的“冷笑话”，只要多多积累一些“雷人”英语，还怕你的英语到了全都买基金吧~~ One day I saw a old woman was burning paper money and mumbled : buy funds if you get it. 08. 好的爱情是你透过一个男人看到世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界…… A good love is you find the world for a man; a bad love is you abandon the world for a man. 09. 诸葛亮出山前，也没带过兵!凭啥我就要工作经验? Before Liang Zhuge coming out, he didnt have experience in leading the army! why i should have experience when look for a job? 10. 如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光…… If you saw the dark in front of you, dont be afriad, that's because sunshine is at your back. 以上便是沪江小编为大家介绍的十大英语幽默句子，希望大家能够喜欢。获取更多相关知识请关注沪江网校。

    幽默小故事：慎重许愿       Be Careful What You Wish For A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 慎重许愿 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。

过了神父，布莱恩跑开了。 When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey. 告诫会结束后 ，神父回到住处。当他走到厨房的时候，他发现火鸡不见了。 以上便是沪江小编为大家介绍的三分钟英语幽默小故事，希望大家能够喜欢。获取更多相关内容请关注沪江网校。