Opening up to others may bring catharsis in return. “Most everyone has been on the receiving end of a breakup at one time or another, and commiserating with them, sharing experiences, getting counsel, being reminded you’re not alone, can be highly beneficial,” says Franklin A. Porter, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York City.

Durell also recommends “being witnessed” in your grief over a breakup by a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional—or even better, all of the above. “Say I'm carrying shame or embarrassment or whatever it is, to actually cry in front of people who are there to support me can change your life,” he says. “It changed my life to be vulnerable and be witnessed in my grief.”  

Breaking a sweat may be the last thing you want to do when you’re wallowing over a past relationship, but trust: It can help just as much as watching those breakup movies, if not more. “The endorphins produced during exercise will help with the withdrawal symptoms post-breakup, and it also helps you build confidence in yourself,” says Huerta.

Durell says a physical reset is all just part of the grieving process. “When something traumatic happens to an animal, what do they do?” he says. “They shake. When a gazelle is being chased by a lion and it gets away, it shakes; it resets its body. Our way of resetting as human is grieving. We can shake, which is an amazing exercise, but it's still part of the grieving process. We have to have an official ending so we can have a new beginning.”

If running on the treadmill isn’t your idea of how to get over someone, at least consider gentle movement activities like yoga or meditation apps. “Grief is experienced in the body,” says Dr. Wise. She suggests yoga to help your body release those emotions. “Grief is stressful and can temporarily dysregulate the autonomic nervous system, hence changes in your sleep, appetite, and concentration.” According to Dr. Wise, breath work—a big part of yoga and meditation practices—can help calm the activation of that system.

“Going through grief can be an opportunity to learn new wellness habits like the regular practice of yoga, mindfulness, exercise, and even honing the ability to create more resilience and resourcefulness,” she says. “If you have challenges finding such a practice, consider using a HeartMath biofeedback device, which can help you reset your nervous system and decrease the adverse effects of stress.”

A common response if you regret breaking up a romantic relationship is to idealize the other person, says Hendrix. And while you don’t want to deny that there were good parts of your relationship, you also don’t want to fixate on them. To find the middle ground, write a list of all the negative aspects of your former partner or relationship, like signs of cheating or fighting in a relationship, and look at it on the reg. “This mental exercise helps counterbalance all the obsessive thinking you will probably be experiencing around what you miss about your ex and why they were so great—even if they weren’t,” says Huerta.

All experts agree that taking care of yourself in the midst of heartbreak is key. Check in with yourself throughout the day, says Hendrix, and ask, What do I need? Maybe it’s a healthy salad, maybe it’s a hot bath, maybe it’s a phone call with a friend, maybe it’s seeking professional help.