超级坏蛋格鲁（史蒂夫·卡瑞尔 Steve Carell 配音）在听说埃及金字塔被盗的新闻后不满市面上新贼辈出，决定在纳法利欧博士（拉塞尔·布兰德 Russell Brand 配音）的帮助下建造火箭升空盗取月亮。在向坏蛋银行贷款的过程中，格鲁盗取的收缩射线枪被新贼维克托（杰森·席格尔 Jason Segel 配音）抢走。为了夺回收缩射线枪，格鲁决定领养三位孤儿——玛戈（米兰达·卡斯格拉夫 Miranda Cosgrove 配音）、伊迪丝（达娜·盖伊 Dana Gaier 配音）和阿格蕾丝（埃尔希·费舍 Elsie Fisher 配音），利用她们进入维克托的城堡兜售饼干的机会实施偷盗，计划成功后再偷偷处理掉三个小孩。然而在平凡的日常相处中，格鲁却发现自己越来越离不开这三个小鬼，但这样的感情用事却将严重影响周密的盗月计划……

卑鄙的我

Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?

请问 先生 这里有洗手间吗？

Justin!

贾斯丁！

Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.

快 亲爱的 给我拍张手举金字塔的照片

Justin, you get back here right now!

贾斯丁 你快给我回来！

No, stop!

不 站住！

-No, no! Stop him! -Go back! Don't climb!

-不 不！拦住他！  -快回去！别爬！

Wait, wait.

等等 等等

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

别动 放松 小朋友

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

好了 站住 孩子！站着别动 不！

No, no, no! There he goes.

不 不 不！他掉下去了

Justin!

贾斯丁！

I've got him! I've got him!

我能接住！我能接住！

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered

今晚 埃及曝出一条爆炸性的新闻

that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen

胡夫金字塔遭人偷走

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

取而代之的竟然是一只巨大的充气仿制品

There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens

事件引起全球恐慌 各国人民

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

都在尽力保护自己国家的地标

Law enforcement still has no leads,

执法部门仍然毫无线索

leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains

大家都在猜测 到底哪个大坏蛋

is responsible for this heinous crime?

才是这起卑劣罪行的主谋

And where will he strike next?

他的下一步行动又是什么？

I'm having a bad, bad day

今天我心情很坏很坏

It's about time that I get my way

于是现在 火力全开

Steamrolling whatever I see

眼前的一切全都碾烂

Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray!

冷冻光线！冷冻光线！冷冻光线！

I'm having a bad, bad day

今天我心情很坏很坏

If you take it personal, that's okay

你要因此恨我 我也不会记怀

Watch, this is so fun to see

看好了 这可不好玩

Despicable me

因为我是大坏蛋

Morning, Gru!

早啊 格鲁！

How you doing?

你好啊

Hello, Fred.

你好 弗雷德

FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard,

提醒你一下 你家的狗把我家院子 拉得到处都是狗屎

and I don't appreciate it.

这我可不喜欢

sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they want to go.

抱歉 这也没办法 狗就是喜欢到处乱跑

Unless they're dead.

死了就不会乱跑了

I'm joking!

我开玩笑的！

Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one.

可我也没说错 祝你愉快

Okay. Yeah.

好吧

Steamrolling whatever I see

眼前的一切全都碾烂

Despicable me

因为我是大坏蛋

I'm having a bad, bad day

今天我心情很坏很坏

If you take it personal, that's okay

你要因此恨我 我也不会记怀

Despicable me

因为我是大坏蛋

You've got to be pulling on my leg!

开什么玩笑！

Hello!

有人吗？

Cookies for sale.

要买饼干吗？

Go away. I'm not home.

走开 家里没人

Yes, you are. I heard you.

有人 我听见你说话了

No, you didn't. This

不 你没听见 这是

is a recording.

这是录音

-No, it isn't. -Yes, it is.

-不 不是录音  -就是录音

Watch this. Leave a message, beep.

听好了 有事请留言 哔…

Goodbye, recorded message.

再见了 录音先生

Agnes, come on.

艾格尼丝 快跟上

Kyle!

凯尔！

Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin.

坏狗狗！不！不 不 坐下 我的小松饼

Gru!

格鲁！

Dr Nefario.

纳法瑞奥博士

I know how you must be feeling.

我知道你现在是什么感觉

I, too, have encountered great disappointment,

因为我也一样 正承受着巨大的挫败感

but in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats.

但你在我眼里 永远都是最伟大的

What? What happened?

怎么了？出什么事了？

It's all over the news!

新闻上都在播呢！

Some fella just stole a pyramid.

某个家伙盗走了一座金字塔

They're saying he makes all other villains look

他们都说跟他相比 我们这些其他坏蛋都…

lame.

太菜了

Assemble the minions!

集合喽罗们开会！

Minions, assemble!

喽啰们 集合了！

Okay. Okay.

好的 好的

Hey!

嘿！

Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good?

气色不错啊 凯文！家里人都好吗？

All right.

很好

That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry?

这才是我的小比利！你好吗 拉瑞？

Hello, everybody!

大家好！

Yeah, all right!

很好 很好！

Simmer down. Simmer down!

安静 安静！

Thank you, okay.

谢谢 好了

Now, I realise that you guys probably heard

我想你们也应该都听说了

about this other villain who stole the pyramids.

某个坏蛋偷走了金字塔

Apparently, it's a big deal.

这确实很牛B

People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that.

人人都说这是世纪大案什么的

But am I upset? No, I am not!

我会为这个紧张吗？不会！

A little,

虽然有那么一丁点

but we have had a pretty good year ourselves,

但我们今年也干得不错

and you guys are all right in my book.

你们的名字全都记在功劳簿上了

No, no raises!

不 别得意！

You're not going to get any raises.

你们都没什么好得意的

What did we do?

我们都做了些什么？

Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron!

我们偷走了时代广场上的大屏幕！

Nice!

漂亮！

That's how I roll.

这就是我的风格

Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh?

你们都喜欢用那东西看橄榄球是吧？

But that's not all.

还不止这些

We stole the Statue of Liberty,

我们还偷走了自由女神像

the small one from Las Vegas.

虽然是拉斯维加斯那个迷你版的

And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas.

还有艾菲尔铁塔！也是拉斯维加斯的

Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet,

好吧 我当时还不想说

but I have been working on something very big!

其实我正在策划一项大工程！

Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water!

金字塔那事跟它根本没法比！

And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr Nefario...

这还多亏了我的好朋友纳法瑞奥博士…

Thank you!

谢谢！

There he is.

他来了

He's styling.

看他多有型

Now, we have located a shrink ray

我们查到一间秘密实验室里

in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray,

藏着缩小射线 只要我们把它到手

we will have the capability

我们就能够

to pull off the true crime of the century.

犯下真正意义上的世纪大案

We are going to steal...

我们要去偷的是…

Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet.

等等 等等！我还没说是什么呢

Hey.

嘿

Dave, listen up, please.

戴维 注意听好了

Next, we are going to steal,

接下来 我们要去偷的是

pause for effect,

这时候停顿一下才给力

the moon!

月球！

And once the moon is mine,

一旦月球落到我手里

the world will give me whatever I want to get it back!

想要我交出来的话 整个世界都得满足我的任何条件！

And I will be the greatest villain of all time!

而我就会成为前无古人 后无来者的超级大坏蛋！

That's what I'm talking about.

这就是我要说的

Yes?

喂？

Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers,

喂 格鲁？我做了下预算

and I really don't see how we can afford this.

我们可没那么多钱玩这个

It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker.

根本就不可行 我可创造不了奇迹

Hey, chillax.

嘿 别紧张

I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me!

我再去银行贷笔款 他们都喜欢我！

Edith, stop it!

伊迪丝 别玩了！

What? I'm just walking.

干嘛？我就走路嘛

"哈蒂小姐女童收留所"

-Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. -Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back.

-嗨 哈蒂小姐 我们回来了  -嗨 哈蒂小姐 我们回来了

Hello, girls!

你们好 姑娘们！

Anybody come to adopt us while we were out?

我们不在的时候 有人来领养我们吗？

Let me think.

我想想

No!

没有！

Edith! What did you put on my desk?

伊迪丝！你把什么放我桌上了？

A mud pie.

泥巴派

You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you?

你这样可别想有人来领养 伊迪丝 知道吗？

-Yeah, I know. -Good.

-知道了  -很好

So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas?

那么 指标完成得怎么样啊？姑娘们

Sort of.

还行

We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies, and 18 coco-nutties.

我们卖了43个薄荷饼干 30个巧克力卷 还有18个椰子饼干

Okay.

好吧

Well, you say that like it's a great sale day.

你是说 今天卖得很不错喽

Look at my face!

你看我的表情！

Do you still think it's a great sale day?

你还觉得今天卖得不错吗？

Eighteen coco-nutties.

18个椰子饼干

I think we can do a little better than that, don't you?

我想你们还能做得好些 是不是啊？

Yeah.

是啊

We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No.

你们都不想在周末关小黑屋吧？不想

-No, Miss Hattie. -No, Miss Hattie.

-不想 哈蒂小姐  -不想 哈蒂小姐

Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine.

很好 走吧 把我的衣服洗了

-Hi, Penny. -Hi, Penny.

-嗨 佩妮  -嗨 佩妮

Hi, guys.

嗨 你们好

Hello, Mom. sorry, I meant to call, but...

喂 妈妈 抱歉 我想给你打电话的来着 可是…

I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid.

我是来祝贺你把金字塔搞到手的

That was you, wasn't it?

是你干的 对吗？

Or was it a villain who's actually successful?

还有哪个坏蛋能这么牛B呢？

Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something

就像您说的 妈妈 我是在准备一件

that's very, very big, very important.

惊天动地的大事

When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud.

你知道后 会为我非常骄傲的

Good luck with that. Okay, I'm out of here.

那祝你好运吧 好了 我要挂了

"坏蛋银行"

Gru to see Mr Perkins.

我是格鲁 来找帕金斯先生

Yes, please have a seat.

好的 找个位子坐一下

That's one small step for man,

这对我来说也许只是一小步

one giant leap for mankind.

但对整个人类却是一个跨越

Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon.

妈妈 我以后也要登月

I'm afraid you're too late, Son.

恐怕你这话说晚了 儿子

NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more.

宇航局不再送猴子去做试验了

Hey.

嘿

I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector.

哥在申请做新坏蛋的贷款 以“向量”的名义

It's a mathematical term,

这是个数学名词

a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude.

就是带箭头的物理量 既有方向又有能量

Vector! That's me,

“向量”！就是哥

'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude.

因为哥作的案既有方向又有能量

Oh, yeah!

哦也！

Check out my new weapon.

看看我新发明的武器

Piranha gun! Oh, yes!

食人鱼发射枪！哦也！

Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before?

能发射活的食人鱼 见过没？

No, you haven't. I invented it.

当然没见过了 这可是哥发明的

Do you want a demonstration?

要给你做个演示吗？

Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my...

妈的！有时候要把食人鱼装回去还真不简单…

Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now.

格鲁先生 帕金斯先生现在可以见你了

So, all I need

于是 我只需要

is money from the bank to build a rocket.

银行能贷款给我造火箭

-And then, the moon is ours. -Wow!

-那样的话 月球就是我们的了  -哇哦！

Well, very nice presentation.

这提议真给力

I'd like to see this shrink ray.

我想看看这缩小射线

Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it.

那是当然了！只要一到手就给你看

You don't have it?

这么说还没到手？

And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money?

那你还有脸来银行借钱？

Apparently.

看来是这样

Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru?

你知道银行在你身上花多少钱了吗 格鲁？

With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit.

你那些能真正赚钱的邪恶计划少得可怜

How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you.

你叫我怎么忍受你？好比你就是这个苹果

If we don't start getting our money back...

如果你没办法把那些钱都赢回来…

Get the picture?

明白没？

Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there,

听着 格鲁 关键是 现在新出道的坏蛋很多很多

younger than you, hungrier than you,

比你年轻 也比你更渴望成功

younger than you.

比你年轻

Like that young fellow out there named Vector.

就像门外那个叫“向量”的年轻人

He just stole a pyramid!

金字塔就是他偷的！

I've got it. I've got it.

明白了 明白了

So, as far as getting money for the rocket...

这么说 要想贷款造火箭…

Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk.

就去把缩小射线弄来 否则免谈

"东亚某秘密研究基地"

Suckers!

傻B！

Suckers!

傻B！

We got it!

到手了！

What?

怎么回事？

Hey! Hey! What! Hey!

嘿！嘿！怎么回事！嘿！

No, no, no!

不 不 不！

You!

是你！

Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head!

以后冻住别人脑袋之前先想清楚

So long, Gru!

后会有期了 格鲁！

Quick! We can't let him get away!

快！别让他跑了

Up ahead! Up ahead!

正前方！正前方！

Fire! Fire, now!

开火！快开火！

You missed me!

你没打中！

Come to papa!

让爷来教训你！

Take that.

尝尝这个

How adorable.

真可爱

Got you in our sights!

这下你跑不掉了！

Like taking candy from a...

就像是探囊取…

What?

什么？

Hey, Gru!

嘿 格鲁！

Try this on for size!

看看飞船变小会怎么样！

That's weird. What is going...

这太诡异了 怎么…

This is claustrophobic!

我会得幽闭恐惧症的！

No, no, no!

不 不 不！

Too small! This is too small for me!

太小了！这太小了！

I hate that guy!

我恨那小子！

...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep.

…请照看我们 保佑我们睡个好觉

And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears

保佑我们在睡觉的时候 不会有虫子爬进耳朵

and lay eggs in our brains.

在我们脑子里产卵

Great. Thanks for that image, Edith.

很好 谢谢你生动的描述 伊迪丝

And please bless that someone will adopt us soon,

还有请保佑我们很快就有人收养

and that the mommy and daddy will be nice

爸爸妈妈都对我们很好

and have a pet unicorn.

我也能有只独角兽做宠物

Amen.

阿门

-Amen. -Amen.

-阿门  -阿门

Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them

独角兽 我喜欢 独角兽 我喜欢

Uni, uni, unicorns I love them

独角 独角兽 我喜欢

Uni, unicorns, I could pet one

独角 独角兽 养只做宠物

If they were really real

如果真的有独角兽

And they are

如果你们是真的

So, I bought one so I could pet it

那我就能买一只来做宠物

Now it loves me Now I love it

它爱我 我也爱它

"“向量”的城堡"

"安全警报"

Don't you... What the...

这是…开什么玩笑…

Good luck, little girls!

祝你们好运 小萝莉！

Whoa! Cool.

哇哦 真酷！

Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls.

嗨 我们是哈蒂女童收留所的孤儿

-I don't care. Beat it! -Come on!

-我不管 快滚！  -别这样！

We're selling cookies so, you know, we can have a better future.

我们得多卖饼干 才可能有好前途

-Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? -Yeah.

-等等！你们有椰子饼干吗？  -有啊

Light bulb.

有办法了

Dr Nefario!

纳法瑞奥博士！

I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies!

给我造些饼干外形的微型小机器人！

-What? -Cookie robots!

-什么？  -饼干机器人！

-Who is this? -Oh, forget it.

-你谁啊？  -哦 算了吧

Well, it appears you have cleared our background check,

看来你的背景符合我们的要求

Dr Gru.

格鲁医生

And I see you have made a list

我看见你整理的那张

of some of your personal achievements.

对你颇有好评的病人名单了

Thank you for that. I love reading.

谢谢 我就爱看这个

And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor

你得过荣誉勋章

and a knighthood.

还曾受爵位

-Me, me, me. -Me, me, me.

-我 我 我  -我 我 我

Kevin?

凯文？

You had your own cooking show

你有过自己的厨艺节目

and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds?

能屏住呼吸30秒？

It's not that impressive.

这很一般嘛

Idiot!

白痴！

-Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! -Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

-打！打！打！打！  -打！打！打！打！

What in the name of... What?

这都是些什么啊？

Well, here's the dealio.

好 那就这样吧

Things have been so Ionely since my wife,

自从我妻子黛比过世后

Debbie, passed on.

我的人生就孤单起来

It's like my heart is a tooth,

就好比 我的心是颗牙齿

and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children.

而牙齿上蛀了个洞 只有孩子的爱才能填补好这个洞

I'm sorry.

请原谅

You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish?

你很漂亮 你会说西班牙语吗？

Do I look like I speak Spanish?

你看我像是会说西班牙语吗？

You have a face como un burro.

你的脸生得五顑六肿额

Well, thank you!

哦 谢谢！

Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption?

言归正传 能继续谈收养问题了吗？

So, so excited!

我都迫不及待了！

Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby.

去叫玛格, 伊迪丝和艾格尼丝到前厅来

I bet the mom is beautiful!

我猜妈妈一定很漂亮！

I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle.

我猜爸爸的眼神很动人

I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears.

我猜他们家里有的是大熊软糖

I'm just saying it'd be nice.

就是说他们家会很漂亮

My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.

我的毛毛虫变不成蝴蝶了

That's a Cheeto.

那是奇多

Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman.

黛比是个很幸运的女人

Who's Debbie?

黛比是谁？

Your wife.

你妻子啊

Hi, girls!

嗨 丫头们！

Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru.

姑娘们 来见见格鲁先生

He's going to adopt you.

他是来收养你们的

And he's a dentist!

他是牙医哦！

Yeah!

真棒！

Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith.

嗨 我是玛格 这是伊迪丝

And that's Agnes.

那是艾格尼丝

I got your leg, I got your leg!

我抓住你腿了 我抓住你腿了！

Okay, that is enough, little girl.

好啦 差不多行了 小丫头

-Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. -Higher!

-放开我的腿 快 你知道怎么做的   -再高点！

-Higher! -Just release your grip. Wow!

-再高点！  -你只要撒开手就行 哇！

How do you remove them? Is there a command?

你平时都是怎么弄开的？有什么口令吗？

Some nonstick spray?

还是用了什么不粘材料？

Crowbar?

撬棍？

Okay, girls, let's go.

好了 丫头们 我们走吧

Oh, yeah!

哦也！

Pretty impressive!

相当震惊

What are you looking at?

你看什么看？

Boo-ya!

找灭！

You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash!

你缩水啦 小小漱口剂

Take that!

看招！

You done been shrunk!

你完蛋了！

Yello?

喂？

I got the shrink ray, all right.

我顺利搞到缩小射线了

No, I'm not playing with it.

没 我才没拿着它乱玩呢

Gru?

格鲁？

Don't make me laugh! No.

别逗了！没有

P.S., he is not getting the moon,

再说 他不可能偷到月亮的

and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him,

再再说 等哥摆平他以后

he's gonna be begging for mercy.

他就只有求饶的份了

Okay, bye.

好的 拜

Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby...

迷你小宝贝 专用的迷你小马桶

Curse you, tiny toilet!

我咒你全家 破迷你马桶

Okay, here we are.

好了 我们到了

Home sweet home.

甜蜜温馨的家

So, this is, like, your house?

这 就是你家？

Wait a sec...

稍等片刻…

You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message!

你就是那个假装自动答录机的人！

No, that was someone else.

不是 那是别人干的

Can I hold your hand?

你可以牵着我吗？

No.

不行

When we got adopted by a bald guy,

从我们被这光头佬收养的那一刻起

I thought this'd be more like Annie.

我就觉得我们会落得像安妮那么惨

No, hey!

别咬 嘿！

Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests.

凯尔 这些不是供你享用的 这些是我们的客人

Girls, this is Kyle, my

孩子们 这是凯尔 我的…

dog.

狗

Fluffy doggy!

毛茸茸的狗狗

What kind of dog is that?

这是什么品种的狗？

He is a... I don't know.

它是… 我不知道

Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids?

你真的觉得这里适宜小朋友居住吗？

'Cause it's not.

显然不合适

No! No! Stay away from there!

别 不要！快出来！

It's fragile.

它经不起折腾的

Well, I suppose the plan will work with two.

好吧 我看计划要改成两个人了

Hey! It's dark in here.

嘿！这里面好暗啊

It poked a hole in my juice box.

它把我的果汁戳了个洞

As you can see,

如你们所见

I have provided everything a child might need.

我已经准备好了小孩子 可能用得上的所有东西

All right.

行了

Okay. As I was saying... Hey!

就像我说的… 嘿！

Somebody broke that.

有人把它打破了

Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules.

好了 够了 很明显 我们得立些规矩

Rule number one.

规矩一

You will not touch anything.

不准碰任何东西

What about the floor?

那地板呢？

Yes, you may touch the floor.

好的 你们可以踩在地板上！

What about the air?

那空气呢？

Yes, you may touch the air!

好的 你们可以接触空气！

What about this?

那这个呢？

-Where did you get that? -Found it.

-你从哪儿拿的？  -我找到的

Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working.

好了 规矩二 我工作的时候不准打扰我

Rule number three.

规矩三

You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle

不准大哭 抽泣 大笑 或者咯咯笑

or sneeze or burp or fart!

也不准打喷嚏 打嗝 或者放屁！

So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right?

也就是 千万千万 千万别弄出噪音 懂了？

Does this count as annoying?

这算是噪音吗？

Very!

绝对噪音！

I will see you in six hours.

我六小时后再来看你们

Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine.

好吧 别担心 一切都会好起来的

We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes?

我们在这会很幸福的 对吧？艾格尼丝

Question. What are these?

问一下 这些是神马？

A dozen boogie robots! Boogie!

一打摇滚机器人！动起来！

Look at this. Watch me!

看好了 看我的！

Cookie robots. I said cookie robots.

饼干机器人 我说的是饼干机器人

Why are you so old?

为什么… 你怎么 你怎么就那么…守旧呢？

Okay. I'm on it.

好吧 我会搞定的

Hello?

有人吗？

TV!

电视！

What is that?

那是什么？

-Look at that! -That is cool!

-你们看呀  -太酷了！

Come on!

过来！

I don't think he's a dentist.

我觉得他不是牙医

We've been working on this for a while.

我们研究这个有些时日了

It's a anti-gravity serum.

它叫做反重力糖浆

I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure.

我本打算关好窗的 他会没事的 我保证

-Do the effects wear off? -So far,

-药效会消失吗？  -目前来说

no. No, they don't.

不会 不会 现在看不会

And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered.

还有这个 毫无疑问 是你预定的新式武器

No, no.

不 不 不

I said "dart gun," not... Okay.

我说的是 "飞镖枪" 不是… 好了

Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering

噢 这样啊 我还在奇怪

under what circumstances would we use this?

什么情况会用得上这玩意儿

But, anyway.

不过

What I really wanted to show you was this.

我真正要给你展示的是这个

Now those are cookie robots!

这才是饼干机器人嘛！

La, la, la, la I love unicorns

啦 啦 啦 啦 我爱独角兽

What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen!

你们怎么会在这儿？我不是说了 在厨房带着吗？

We got bored. What is this place?

我们太无聊了 这里是干嘛用的？

Can I drink this?

这个我能喝吗？

Do you want to explode?

你想玩自爆吗？

Gru!

格鲁！

Get back in the kitchen!

回厨房去！

-Will you play with us? -No.

-你会和我们玩吗？  -不行

-Why? -Because I'm busy.

-为什么？  -因为我很忙

Doing what?

忙什么？

Okay, okay, you got me.

好吧 好吧 你赢了

The dentist thing is more of a hobby.

牙医只是我的副业

In real life, I am a spy.

我真正的身份是间谍

And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody,

这是最高机密 你们不可以跟任何人说

-because if you do... -What does this do?

-因为如果你们说了…  -这是用来做什么的？

Hey!

嘿！

My unicorn!

我的独角兽！

You have to fix it.

你得把它修好

Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed.

修？它已经化成灰了 也就是说 它不可能修好了

That's freaking me out. What is she doing?

别吓我 她这是要干嘛？

She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one.

她会一直摒着气 直到给她个新独角兽

It is just a toy. Now stop it!

那只是个玩具而已 别闹了

Okay, okay! I'll fix it!

好啦 好啦 我会把它修好

Tim! Mark! Phil!

蒂姆！马克！菲尔！

This is very important.

这非常重要

You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy.

你们必须给这个丫头弄个新独角兽玩偶

Hey, hey, hey! A toy!

嘿 嘿 嘿！是玩偶

Go, and hurry!

去吧 要快！

What are those?

那些是什么？

They are my cousins.

他们是 我的表亲

Jerry! Stuart!

杰瑞！斯图尔特！

Watch them, and keep them away from me, please.

看好她们 让她们离我远点

-Wow! -Wow!

It was your cousin's idea.

这是你表弟的主意

What?

什么？

Okay, bedtime.

好了 该去睡觉了

Not you two!

没说你们俩！

Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams.

好啦 睡觉觉 盖好被被 做个好梦

Just so you know,

你要知道

you're never gonna be my dad.

你永远都不会成为我爸爸

I think I can live with that.

我不会介意的

Are these beds made out of bombs?

这些床是用炸弹做的吗？

Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up.

没错 不过它们已经老得不可能爆炸了

But try not to toss and turn.

不过还是不要翻来翻去的

Cool.

酷

-Will you read us a bedtime story? -No.

-你会给我们讲睡前故事吗？  -不会

But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story.

不听故事我们会睡不着的

Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it?

那么 你的夜晚注定格外漫长了

So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite.

那么 晚安 好好睡 当心别被虫子咬了

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