其实，这是李编造的——他的书里从来没出现过这句话。所以那些批评家们是不是对他不太公平？

They’re certainly harsh. Edinburgh professor of linguistics Geoffrey Pullum says “Brown's writing is not just bad; it is staggeringly, clumsily, thoughtlessly, almost ingeniously bad.” He picks out some excerpts for special criticism. The female lead in Angels and Demons learns of the death of her scientist father: “Genius, she thought. My father . . . Dad. Dead.” A member of the Vatican Guard in the same book becomes annoyed by something, and we learn that "his eyes went white, like a shark about to attack."

他们真的很毒舌。爱丁堡大学语言学教授杰弗里·普勒姆曾说：“布朗的写作不仅仅是差，而是差得惊人，差得愚蠢，差得草率，差到清新脱俗。”他挑了几篇专门批判他写作的文章节选： 《天使与魔鬼》中，女主角得知自己的科学家父亲去世：“天才“，她心中大喊着，”我的父亲…爸爸… 死了。”还是在这本书，他描写梵蒂冈护卫队里的一个成员被激怒时写道：他的双眼发白，像一只即将出击的鲨鱼。”

Below we have selected 20 phrases that may grate on the ear. It’s not a definitive list. It couldn’t be: he has published five novels, each around 500 pages long, and the arguments over which are the worst bits will go on for a while. But it’s our list. Add your own in the comment box below.

接下来我们选了20条读着让人难受的句子，这份清单并不完整，因为他发表了5本小说，每本都差不多500页长，所以最差的部分可能需要说上一会儿。但这是我们选的，你可以在评论区写下自己的找到的句子。

20. Angels and Demons, chapter 1:

Although not overly handsome in a classical sense, the forty-year-old Langdon had what his female colleagues referred to as an ‘erudite’ appeal — wisp of gray in his thick brown hair, probing blue eyes, an arrestingly deep voice, and the strong, carefree smile of a collegiate athlete.

Although not overly handsome in a classical sense, the forty-year-old Langdon had what his female colleagues referred to as an ‘erudite’ appeal — wisp of gray in his thick brown hair, probing blue eyes, an arrestingly deep voice, and the strong, carefree smile of a collegiate athlete.

They say the first rule of fiction is “show, don’t tell”. This breaks that rule.

《天使和魔鬼》第一章：虽然从传统意义上来讲，兰登并不是很帅，但是他的女同事称这个四十岁的男人有着一种“博学的魅力”——他有一头带着一缕灰色的浓密棕发，深邃的蓝色眼睛，迷人而低沉的嗓音，还有像大学运动员一样灿烂而无忧的笑容。

小说的第一个原则是：“秀而不言”这段描写打破了这个原则。

Show, don't tell is a technique used in various kinds of texts to allow the reader to experience the story through action, words, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than through the author's exposition, summarization, and deion. It avoids adjectives describing the author's analysis, but instead describes the scene in such a way that the reader can draw his or her own conclusions.

各种文体写作的一个共同技巧是“秀而不言”：作者应当让读者通过文中人物的行为，语言，想法，感觉，和情感来理解故事，而非通过作者的说明，总结和描述。同时避免使用形容词，让读者从描写的场景中得出自己的结论。

19. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 83:

"The Knights Templar were warriors," Teabing reminded, the sound of his aluminum crutches echoing in this reverberant space.

"The Knights Templar were warriors," Teabing reminded, the sound of his aluminum crutches echoing in this reverberant space.

《达芬奇密码》第83章：“圣殿骑士可都是勇士。”提彬提醒道。他的铝制手杖在这方空间中发出清脆的回响。

Remind是及物动词——你需要“使某人想起某事”，而不仅仅是“使想起”，还有，如果手杖能够产生回响，就不用再强调这个空间可以回声了。

注释：

Crutch：1. one of ten long sticks that you put under your arms to help you walk after you have injured your leg or foot

2. (usually disapproving) a person or thing that gives you help or support but often makes you depend on them too much

Echo：1. the reflecting of sound off a wall or inside a confined space so that a noise appears to be repeated; a sound that is reflected back in this way

2. the fact of an idea, event, etc. being like another and reminding you of it; sth that reminds you of sth else

Reverberant：1.Having a tendency to reverberate.

2.Characterized by reverberation; resounding.

这一条主要针对布朗的语法错误，以及用词重复（echo这个词就意味着在一个reverberant space。）

18. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4:

He could taste the familiar tang of museum air - an arid, deionized essence that carried a faint hint of carbon - the product of industrial, coal-filter dehumidifiers that ran around the clock to counteract the corrosive carbon dioxide exhaled by visitors.

He could taste the familiar tang of museum air - an arid, deionized essence that carried a faint hint of carbon - the product of industrial, coal-filter dehumidifiers that ran around the clock to counteract the corrosive carbon dioxide exhaled by visitors.

《达芬奇密码》第四章：他能嗅到那种熟悉的博物馆里干燥除湿剂的刺鼻气味，除湿剂带着一丝微弱的碳的味道——一种使用过滤煤的工业除湿装置，装在钟表附近，用来消除游客呼出的二氧化碳所产生的腐蚀作用。

啊，熟悉的去离子香精的刺鼻气味。

注释：

Tang:A strong taste, flavour, or smell.

Arid: having little or no rain; too dry or barren to support vegetation.

Deionized:Remove the ions or ionic constituents from (a substance, especially water)

Dehumidifiers: A device that removes excess moisture from the air.

Counteract: Act against (something) in order to reduce its force or neutralize it.

Corrosive:Tending to cause corrosion.

Exhale:Breathe out

17. Deception Point, chapter 8:

Overhanging her precarious body was a jaundiced face whose skin resembled a sheet of parchment paper punctured by two emotionless eyes.

It’s not clear what Brown thinks ‘precarious’ means here.

Overhanging her precarious body was a jaundiced face whose skin resembled a sheet of parchment paper punctured by two emotionless eyes.

It’s not clear what Brown thinks ‘precarious’ means here.

布朗到底知不知道“precarious”是什么意思？

注释：

Overhang: Hang or extend outwards over.

Precarious: 1. A dangerous state because of not being safe

2.A precarious situation is likely to get worse:

Jaundiced:looking slightly yellow in colour because of having jaundice

Parchment:the thin, dried skin of some animals that was used in the past for writing on, or a high-quality paper made to look like this

段落分析：这一条是在说他用词不当，precarious一般用于形容状态或情形，形容body让人难以理解（原文直译为“在她摇摇欲坠的身体前”）。

16. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4: A voice spoke, chillingly close.

"Do not move." On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly. Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils.

"Do not move." On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly. Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils.

《达芬奇密码》第四章：一个声音响起，近得让人不寒而栗：“别动。” 馆长四肢僵硬，慢慢回头看：距他十五英尺密闭的大门外，袭击者山一般巨大的影子正透过铁栅盯着他看。他身形巨大，有着像鬼一样惨白的面孔和细软的白发，深红色的瞳孔嵌在淡红色的虹膜之中。

“一个有着白头发和淡红色虹膜的鬼影站在15英尺开外，近的让人害怕。”这画面有点不妥吧？

注释：

Silhouette：a dark shape seen against a light surface

Mountainous：very big

Iris：the colored, circular part of an eye surrounding the black pupil

这画面真的难以想象

15. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4:

As a boy, Langdon had fallen down an abandoned well shaft and almost died treading water in the narrow space for hours before being rescued. Since then, he'd suffered a haunting phobia of enclosed spaces - elevators, subways, squash courts.

As a boy, Langdon had fallen down an abandoned well shaft and almost died treading water in the narrow space for hours before being rescued. Since then, he'd suffered a haunting phobia of enclosed spaces - elevators, subways, squash courts.

《达芬奇密码》第四章：兰登小时候掉进了一个废弃的深井里，他在那个狭窄的空间里累死累活地踩了好几个小时的水才获救。自那之后，他就对电梯，地铁，壁式网球场这种封闭空间充满恐惧。

其他的封闭空间还有厕所，电话亭和狗窝。

注释：

Tread：to put your foot on something or to press something down with your foot

Phobia：a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

作者嘲笑布朗描述不准确。

14. Angels and Demons, chapter 100:

Bernini's Fountain of the Four Rivers glorified the four major rivers of the Old World - The Nile, Ganges, Danube, and Rio Plata.

Bernini's Fountain of the Four Rivers glorified the four major rivers of the Old World - The Nile, Ganges, Danube, and Rio Plata.

《天使和魔鬼》第一百章：贝尔尼尼设计的四河喷泉赞颂了旧世界（东半球）的四大河流—尼罗河，恒河，多瑙河和普拉塔河。

普拉塔河，在阿根廷和乌拉圭中间，东半球的主要河流之一，呵呵 。

注释：

The Old World:东半球的另一种说法

The New World:西半球的另一种说法

布朗犯了一个常识错误：拉普拉塔河在西半球。

The Da Vinci Code, chapter 5:

Only those with a keen eye would notice his 14-karat gold bishop's ring with purple amethyst, large diamonds, and hand-tooled mitre-crozier appliqué.

Only those with a keen eye would notice his 14-karat gold bishop's ring with purple amethyst, large diamonds, and hand-tooled mitre-crozier appliqué.

《达芬奇密码》第五章：只有眼力好的人才会注意到他14开的主教金戒指，这戒指上还嵌有紫水晶、大钻石、手工制作的主教冠和主教牧杖嵌花。

真是好眼力。

注释：

Bishop：a person who supervises a number of local churches or a diocese, being in the Greek, Roman Catholic, Anglican, and other churches a member of the highest order of the ministry.

Amethyst：a purple or violet quartz, used as a gem

Appliqué：ornamentation, as a cutout design, that is sewn on to or otherwise applied to a piece of material.

这么花里胡哨，一般人都能看到。

13 and 12. The Lost Symbol, chapter 1:

He was sitting all alone in the enormous cabin of a Falcon 2000EX corporate jet as it bounced its way through turbulence. In the background, the dual Pratt & Whitney engines hummed evenly.

He was sitting all alone in the enormous cabin of a Falcon 2000EX corporate jet as it bounced its way through turbulence. In the background, the dual Pratt & Whitney engines hummed evenly.

Yanking his Manurhin MR-93 revolver from his shoulder holster, the captain dashed out of the office.

Yanking his Manurhin MR-93 revolver from his shoulder holster, the captain dashed out of the office.

13.12.《失落的字符》第一章：他一个人坐在Falcon 2000EX直升机巨大的机舱里，机身随着气流颠簸，而后座Pratt & Whitneys的双引擎平缓地发出响声。

达芬奇密码 第十七章：警长从肩上的枪套里抽出马努汉MR-93左轮手枪，冲出了办公室。

哇，装着P&W引擎的Falcon 2000EX直升机？还有马努汉MR-93？你确定不是MR-92？

注释：

Turbulence:the quality or state of being turbulent; violent disorder or commotion.

Hum:to make a low, continuous, droning sound.

Holster:a sheathlike carrying case for a firearm, attached to a belt, shoulder sling, or saddle.

Dash out:to move with violence; rush:

这一段里布朗犯了几个小错误：1. Falcon 2000EX配置的引擎应该是Pratt & Whitneys Canada,而不是 Pratt & Whitneys,这是两家公司。“Two Pratt & Whitney Canada PW308C engines supply the power for the Falcon 2000EX. They provide 7,000 pounds of thrust apiece (1,800 more than the Falcon 2000). ”

参考网址：http://jetadvisors.com/falcon-2000ex/

2.个人认为布朗想说的是Manurhin MR-73 而非MR-93。

The MR73 was standard issue with France's Gendarmerie and in some police units including Special Weapons and Tactics teams (RAID, GIGN and comparable units). 参考网址：https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manurhin_MR_73

The Manurhin MR-93 (MR 93, MR93) is a high quality French revolver, part of the Manurhin MR-73 replacement family of revolvers, including the F1, MR-88, and MR-96. The MR-93 was designed as a high class sporting revolver but became a commercial failure and was replaced with the MR-96.

参考网址：http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Manurhin_MR-93

11. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4:

Captain Bezu Fache carried himself like an angry ox, with his wide shoulders thrown back and his chin tucked hard into his chest. His dark hair was slicked back with oil, accentuating an arrow-like widow's peak that divided his jutting brow and preceded him like the prow of a battleship. As he advanced, his dark eyes seemed to scorch the earth before him, radiating a fiery clarity that forecast his reputation for unblinking severity in all matters.

Captain Bezu Fache carried himself like an angry ox, with his wide shoulders thrown back and his chin tucked hard into his chest. His dark hair was slicked back with oil, accentuating an arrow-like widow's peak that divided his jutting brow and preceded him like the prow of a battleship. As he advanced, his dark eyes seemed to scorch the earth before him, radiating a fiery clarity that forecast his reputation for unblinking severity in all matters.

《达芬奇密码》第四章：贝祖·法希警长像一头发怒的公牛，他宽厚的肩膀向后倾，下巴往胸部伸。他乌黑的头发用发油向后梳得整整齐齐，使他的箭形发尖格外突出。他的发尖位于他突出额头的正中央，让他整个人看起来像个战舰的船头。他走路时，那漆黑的眼睛似乎能把地面烤焦，那炽烈的眼神散发出一种不动声色的严厉感。

一头发怒的公牛会把肩膀向后倾，把下巴向胸部伸吗？“炽烈的清晰”到底是什么？它是怎么做出预测的呢？布朗可能也不知道“forecast”是什么意思吧。

注释：

Tuck：to put into a small, close, or concealing place

Accentuate:to give emphasis or prominence to.

Widow’s peak:a point formed in the hairline in the middle of the forehead.

Jutting:to extend beyond the main body or line; project; protrude (often followed by out)

Scorch:to parch or shrivel with heat

Unblinkingly:without displaying response, as surprise, confusion, or chagrin

Forecast意为预测，原文直译为“当他前进时，他深色的眼睛似乎能把他面前的地面烤焦，散发出如火一般炙烈的清晰，预示了他对任何事都不动神色的严厉“。布朗想说的应该是表示“显示，表现”的词。

10. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4:

Five months ago, the kaleidoscope of power had been shaken, and Aringarosa was still reeling from the blow. Did they hit him with the kaleidoscope?

Five months ago, the kaleidoscope of power had been shaken, and Aringarosa was still reeling from the blow. Did they hit him with the kaleidoscope?

他们拿万花筒打他了吗？

注释：

Reel: to sway about in standing or walking, as from dizziness, intoxication, etc.; stagger.

Kaleidoscope：

1. an optical instrument in which bits of glass, held loosely at the end of a rotating tube, are shown in continually changing symmetrical forms by reflection in two or more mirrors set at angles to each other.

2.a continually changing pattern of shapes and colors.

3.a continually shifting pattern, scene

这里涉及到布朗用的一个比喻。 Kaleidoscope原意为万花筒的意思，而“the kaleidoscope of power”里的这个意思是很少用的第三种意思，意为“ A series of changing phases or events”意为”力量的万花筒“。虽然这样也难以理解，但个人认为他想表达的是“各式各样”这个意思。作者指出这一条是想说这个比喻用的让人摸不着头脑，不止作者，Geoffrey K. Pullum（后文提到的普鲁姆教授）也指出了这个问题。参考链接：

http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/001811.html

9. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 32:

The vehicle was easily the smallest car Langdon had ever seen. "SmartCar," she said. "A hundred kilometers to the liter."

The vehicle was easily the smallest car Langdon had ever seen. "SmartCar," she said. "A hundred kilometers to the liter."

《达芬奇密码》第三十二章：这辆车是兰登见过最小的车。“都市精灵。”她说道，“一升汽油能开100公里。”

内行建议：逃跑时，别忘了抽时间夸一下你用的交通工具的耗油量，然后不小心说错个五倍。这种智能车一升油大概能开20公里（12英里）。

8. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 3:

My French stinks, Langdon thought, but my zodiac iconography is pretty good.

And they say the schools are dumbing down.

My French stinks, Langdon thought, but my zodiac iconography is pretty good.

And they say the schools are dumbing down.

《达芬奇密码》第三章：虽然我法语不好，兰登心想，但是我星相学的还不错。

大家都说学校在降低课程难度。

注释：

Dumb down：Informal. to make or become less intellectual, simpler, or less sophisticated

作者评价的相关背景：学校刻意降低课程难度，很多学生拿的都是没有价值的文凭，被称为“Mickey mouse degree”

参考链接：https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumbing_Us_Down

7 and 6. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 33:

Pulling back the sleeve of his jacket, he checked his watch - a vintage, collector's-edition Mickey Mouse wristwatch that had been a gift from his parents on his tenth birthday.

Pulling back the sleeve of his jacket, he checked his watch - a vintage, collector's-edition Mickey Mouse wristwatch that had been a gift from his parents on his tenth birthday.

His last correspondence from Vittoria had been in December - a postcard saying she was headed to the Java Sea to continue her research in entanglement physics... something about using satellites to track manta ray migrations.

His last correspondence from Vittoria had been in December - a postcard saying she was headed to the Java Sea to continue her research in entanglement physics... something about using satellites to track manta ray migrations.

7.6.《达芬奇密码》第三十三章：他拉起夹克衫的袖子，看了下表。这是一部典型的珍藏版米老鼠腕表，是他十岁生日的时候父母送的礼物。

达芬奇密码 第六章：他上次和维多利亚有联系还是在十二月份—她寄了张明信片，告诉兰登她要去爪哇海继续她那项复杂的物理研究，关于用卫星追踪蝠鲼的迁徙情况。

用普鲁姆教授的话来说：“这是完全缺乏语言技巧的表现，这些细节和叙述内容毫无联系。”

注释：

Vintage：being the best of its kind

Collector’s edition:an article or object of particular interest or value because of its uniqueness or scarcity.

Entanglement:something that entangles; snare; involvement; complication.

The ring of:the aspect or impression presented by a statement, an action, etc., taken as revealing a specified inherent quality

Ineptitude:an inept act or remark.

5. Angels and Demons, chapter 4:

Her compensation for a sixteen-hour workday was learning the ropes in the trenches with a seasoned politician.

Her compensation for a sixteen-hour workday was learning the ropes in the trenches with a seasoned politician.

《天使与魔鬼》第四章：她弥补一天工作十六小时的办法就是和一个经验丰富的政客一起在险境中学习。

在第一次世界大战的战壕里学习怎样驾驶军舰。很棒的军事教育。

注释：

Learn the ropes:To learn or understand the basic details of how to do or perform a job, task, or activity.

In the trenches:To have been through a lot together with someone. Specially through hard times.

Seasoned:experienced

这里的两个比喻用的不搭。Learn the ropes表明学习某事的基本经验，是“naval metaphor”，而in the trenches是“army metaphor”，普鲁姆教授在语言日记中也提到过。

参考链接 http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/myl/languagelog/archives/002325.html

4, 3, and 2. The Da Vinci Code, opening sentence:

Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum's Grand Gallery.

Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum's Grand Gallery.

Physicist Leonardo Vetra smelled burning flesh, and he knew it was his own.

Physicist Leonardo Vetra smelled burning flesh, and he knew it was his own.

Death, in this forsaken place, could come in countless forms. Geologist Charles Brophy had endured the savage splendor of this terrain for years, and yet nothing could prepare him for a fate as barbarous and unnatural as the one about to befall him.

Death, in this forsaken place, could come in countless forms. Geologist Charles Brophy had endured the savage splendor of this terrain for years, and yet nothing could prepare him for a fate as barbarous and unnatural as the one about to befall him.

《达芬奇密码》的开篇句：德高望重的馆长雅克索尼埃在博物馆大画廊里的拱顶走道中蹒跚前行。

《天使和魔鬼》开篇句：莱昂纳多维特列闻到了肉体燃烧的气味，他知道这是他自己的。

《骗局》开篇句：在这荒凉孤寂之地，一个人怎么死都有可能。然而尽管地理学家查尔斯▪布罗非已在这壮阔的蛮荒之地呆了好多年，接下来残酷而诡异的命运还是让他始料不及。

普鲁姆教授：“德高望重的作家丹▪布朗在他公式化的开头中蹒跚前行。”

注释：

Forsaken：to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert:

Splendor：brilliant or gorgeous appearance, coloring, etc.; magnificence:

The Da Vinci Code: Title. The Da Vinci Code.

Leonardo’s surname was not Da Vinci. He was from Vinci, or of Vinci. As many critics have pointed out, calling it The Da Vinci Code is like saying Mr Of Arabia or asking What Would Of Nazareth Do?

《达芬奇密码》：标题“达芬奇密码”

莱昂纳多的姓并不是达芬奇，他来自芬奇。正如很多批评家指出，叫主人公达芬奇就像在叫“来自阿拉伯先生”，或者问“来自拿撒勒先生”要做什么。

文章感想：

这篇文章的结构很简单，所以没有必要分析结构。读完可以发现这是一篇主观性很强的文章，作者旨在“挑刺”，但是纵观全文，确实可以发现这些句子在写法上或是一些常识上有或多或少的问题。因为想保持原文译文的流畅性，方便理解，所以在翻译时很多句子我并没有忠于原文，有的句法或语法错误在原文中才能看出来，因此大家多注意原文，看看作者说的是否有道理。关于丹▪布朗的写作，作者并不是第一个提出批评的人，如果大家感兴趣，可以再看看相关的文章，链接如下：

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_The_Da_Vinci_Code

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/6232148/The-Lost-Symbol-and-The-Da-Vinci-Code-author-Dan-Brown-50-factual-errors.html（英国每日电讯报又一篇关于丹▪布朗常识错误的合集）

https://themillions.com/2014/01/dumbest-thing-ever-scribbling-in-the-margins-of-dan-browns-inferno.html（又一位作家的批评）

还有文中经常提到的普鲁姆教授的语言日记，因为有很多，可以自行搜索。关键词“language log Pullum”

翻译专业大三老学姐，爱旅行爱吃奥利奥，欢迎大家提出问题，互相学习交流~

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