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1、Unit 3 Whatever Happened to Manners? Do you remember a time when people were a little nicer, a little softer, a little gentler with each other? I certainly do, and I feel that much of the world has somehow gotten away from that. I see such a difference in New York City, for example, from when I firs

2、t moved here more than 20 years ago: people rushing into elevators without giving those inside a chance to get off first, never saying Thank you. when others hold a door open for them, or Please. when they want a coworker to hand them something, never giving a wave or nod of appreciation when anothe

3、r motorist lets them pull out into traffic. We get lazy, and in our laziness we think that something like a simple Thank you. doesnt really matter. But it can matter very much. The fact is that no matter how nicely we dress, how beautifully we decorate our homes, or how lovely our dinner parties are

4、, we cant be truly stylish without good manners. In fact, I think of good manners as a sort of hidden beauty secret. Havent you noticed that the kindest, most generous people seem to keep getting prettier? They become Cary Grant or Lauren Bacall right before our eyes. Its funny how that happens, but

5、 it does. Take the long-lost art of saying Thank you. Like wearing a little lipstick or making sure your hair is neat, getting into the habit of saying Thank you. can make you feel better about yourself, and then you look better to everyone around you. A gracious manner not only sets an excellent ex

6、ample for your children and grandchildren but it adds priceless panache to your image. Positive Thanking Of course, saying Thank you. does wonders for the person on the receiving end too. I recently got a thank-you note from a guest who attended a 40th birthday party that Frank and I hosted for Fran

7、ks daughter-in-law. The note was lovely enough, but even lovelier was the fact that the guest had also included a recipe for a dish Id complimented her on at an earlier gathering. It was a sweet gesture that made me feel terrific and put me in a great mood. What a gift! Many of us know we should wri

8、te thank-you notes, but we think we dont have the time or energy. Now, I know we all have busy lives, but I bet the note my guest sent me didnt take long to write. If you feel like a feel because youve put off sending a card, write a note that says, I should have done this two weeks ago, but I didnt

9、 want to let another day go by without telling you how much I enjoyed your party. Its much better than not writing at all. Magic Words Just as powerful as a thank-you note is the simple phrase Excuse me. Dont you just hate it when someone knocks an enormous carry-on bag into your head when hes barre

10、ling down the aisle to board an airplaneand then doesnt bother to say hes sorry? But when someone does stop and turn around and genuinely apologizes, doesnt it melt away mostif not allof the irritation you felt? Same for holding the door open for others when you see their hands are full. Ill even do

11、 this for a hotel bellman carrying my luggage. Just because his job is to carry my bags doesnt mean he doesnt appreciate a little gesture that makes his life a wee bit easier. And punctuality is not a thing of the past, either. Being on time for lunch dates, for example, shows the person were meetin

12、g that we value his or her precious time as much as we do our own. Bringing Manners Home And for heavens sake, we shouldnt forget to use good manners with our own families. Thats where it counts the most because those are the people we love the most. How lovely it would be to put a card on your spou

13、ses pillow at night to say Thank you. for some dear thing he or she did for you or even just to say I love you. Similarly, bringing home the most insignificant little presents for people you cherish will go a long way. It shows theyre in your thoughts and you want to make them happy. If youre a husb

14、and, how long has it been since you walked in the door with a rose for your wife? Or maybe her favorite candyeven if its just a Snickers bar? Youd sure get my attention if you brought me a Snickers! I firmly believe spouses should be gracious about the routine things they expect each other to do. Sh

15、ow that you dont take the other person for granted. He or she is much more likely to treat you the same way.Good manners are infectious. Now, if we could just get everyone to catch them!礼貌怎么了？ 你是否还记得有一个时期人们相互更友好、更温柔、更绅士呢？我确实记得，并且我感觉现在这个世界不知怎么在远离那个时代。比方说，自从二十年前我最初搬到这里，我在纽约见到了这样的差异：人们冲进电梯而没有给机会让里面的人先出

16、来，当有人为他们拉着门时。他们从来不说“谢谢你”，或者当他们想让同事递给他们某样东西时从来不说“请”，当其他的开车者让他们先驶入车流时他们从来不挥手或点头表示感谢。 我们越来越懒，在我们的懒惰中我们认为像简单地说句“谢谢你”这种事情真的不要紧。但是它真的很重要。事实是无论我们穿得多美，无论我们把房子装修得多漂亮，或者无论我们的晚宴办得多好，没有礼貌我们就不可能是真正的时尚。 实际上我把礼貌当作一种被隐藏的美丽的秘密。你难道没有注意到最和蔼、最慷慨的人们似乎变得越来越漂亮吗？他们在我们的眼前变成了加里格兰特和劳伦巴卡尔。那种事情的发生过程很有趣，但确实是真的。 来讨论一下失去已久的道谢艺术。像抹

17、一点口红或确信一下你的头发是整洁的，养成习惯说“谢谢你”能使你自我感觉更好些，对周围的人来说你也会看着更好些。亲切的礼貌不仅为你的孩子和子孙们树立了优秀的榜样，而且为你的形象增添了无法用价值来衡量的光彩。积极的道谢说“谢谢你”当然也给听者带来未曾料想的好结果。最近我收到了一封来自一位客人的感谢信，她参加了我和弗兰克为他儿媳举办的四十岁生日聚会。这张便条就足以令人愉快了，但更为赏心悦目的是她还附带了一道菜的食谱，这是我在早前一次聚会上恳请她给我的。这种甜美的姿态使我感觉好极了，心旷神怡。多好的礼物啊！我们许多人都知道应该写感谢信，但都认为没有时间或精力去写。我知道现在大家生活都很忙，但是我打赌这

18、位客人送给我的感谢信并没有花很长的时间去写。如果你感觉你迟发了明信片，就写一对感谢信。可以这样写“两周前我就应该做这件事了，但是我不想再让另一天溜走而没有告诉您，我对您的聚会有多喜欢”。这比什么都没写要好得多。 魔力话语和感谢信一样简单有力的话语是“对不起”。当有人匆忙地登机，走过狭窄的过道时随身携带的包砸了一下你的头也不说声“对不起”，你不觉得这很讨厌吗？但当有人停下来转过身真正道歉时，难道不会平息你的大部分如果不是全部的恼怒吗？同样的事，当你看见他人手上都是东西时为他们把着门。我甚至会为拎着我行李的饭店门童这样做。仅仅因为他的工作是拎我的行李，并不意味着他不会感谢一下让他的生活变得更容易一

19、些的动作。而且准时也不是只有在过去的事情。比如，午餐约会准时就向与我们见面的那个人表明，我们珍视他她的宝贵时间就像珍视我们自己的一样。 将礼貌带回家看在上帝的份上，我们不应忘记对自己的家人也彬彬有礼。那是最重要的，因为那些人是我们最爱的人。如果晚上在你的伴侣枕边放上一张卡，为了他她为你所做的充满爱意的事写上“谢谢你”或者仅仅说句“我爱你”该是多么美好的一件事啊！ 同样，为你珍爱的人带回家最没有意义的小礼物也要长久下去。这表明你在想着他们而且你想让他们快乐。如果你是一个丈夫，那么自从上次你拿着送给你妻子的玫瑰走进家门已经有多长时间了？或者是她最喜欢的糖果就算是一盒士力架巧克力？如果你带给我一块巧克力你肯定会引起我的注意！我绝对相信伴侣们对于日常琐事应该有礼貌，并且他们期待对方这样做。你要表明你没有想当然地对待另一个人。他她更可能同样地对待你。 礼貌相互感染。现在，如果我们能让每一个人感染上它就好了！