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如果你真正明白IELTS academic writing的套路，这道题就是在太好写了。典型的折衷式写法-四段式，大负小正，小的方面放在前面写。具体说：

开头段+主体段1承认更严厉的惩罚是有效办法之一+主体段2提出还有其他的办法也必须要一起执行才可以+结尾段总结。Thesis statement 和 topic sentences 在范文里用下划线标明。理由用TM STREEC $体系解决，全程使用模板，22分钟在笔记本上完成创作。

高分关键词：car ownership汽车占有量 incidence 发生率 car wrecks 撞车 perpetrators 肇事者 stiff punishment/severe punishment/ harsh penalty 严厉的惩罚 halt/curb 遏制 rampant 猖獗的 apprehensive 形容词，对……有所顾忌的 surveillance camera 监控摄像头 promulgate 颁布（法令） hazard （危险） forestall=prevent 预防 pedestrian 行人

jaywalk 违章横穿马路 circumvent 规避 the law enforcement执法（部门） draconian（法律）严厉的 lax （法律）松懈的

The soaring car ownership in China has thrown the issue of traffic accidents into sharp relief. According to recent research conducted by China's Ministry of Transportation, the annual incidence of car wrecks is nearly three times as high as the corresponding figure a decade ago. Many people have been alarmed by this trend and assert that imposing stiffer punishment on the perpetrators is the only effective way to curb this disturbing phenomenon. Speaking for myself, I tend to believe their view has both merit and demerit.

Granted, more severe penalty does carry certain advantages in halting the rampant driving offenses on the roads.First and foremost ,it would be the most cost-effective way to deter those would-be driving offenders. Heavy fines, long community service or even jail terms would render most of the aggressive drivers apprehensive about violating the traffic law, even without extra government funding to upgrade traffic surveillance cameras or augment traffic police force. Further, the effect of this hardline approach would be immediate. Once the related law is promulgated, we would be sure to witness a substantial decline in driving offenses overnight.

However, there are also traffic hazards that we cannot forestall by merely stiffening the punishment of aggressive or destructive driving conduct. To begin with, pedestrians who habitually jaywalk will not be discouraged by this move. Pedestrians account for a considerable proportion of traffic-accident culprits. Thus, pedestrian offenses such as jaywalking must be effectively checked as well. Secondly, if people who are regularly behind the wheel are not awakened to the horrific perils traffic offenses may breed , some of them will exploit every possibility to circumvent the law enforcement capability. If people abide by the traffic law solely out of fear for punishment, when a surveillance camera is out of order or the traffic police fail to keep tabs on a specific section of a freeway, all hell would break loose. Lastly, strict punishment of disorderly driving conduct does not guarantee infallible detection of driving offenses. Without sophisticated traffic-offense detecting apparatuses and an alert traffic police force, traffic laws, no matter how draconian, would be lax enough for hardened reckless drivers to disregard.

发帖：wendyyin

大概说下自己的情况.我IELTS也是考了N次,虽然最终过了,但是过得很勉强.所以决定在正式的MASTER上课前先读2个月的语言.目前已经上了2个星期的课,总体来说还是颇有些收获的.这2周内已经写了2篇IELTS作文,语言课程的老师从我们的ESSAY中挑出了一堆毛病.把错误之处一一讲解给我们.个人觉得很有用,编辑出来给大家,希望大家能够从中受益.

1. a lot of/lots of 这对词组一般不要出现在academic essay中,考官已经看烦了.可以用A considerable number of代替

2. Everything has two sides/every coin has tow sides 说了跟没说一样,明显的事实,以后也不要用了

3. Recently 这个词不好.按照他们的说法就是too imprecise,没有一个具体的时间.可以用 In the last 5 years…/since….代替

4. There is survey…… 老师是这么说的:has there been?/only say this if you actually know of one 也就是说考官知道这些都是你编的,最好不要用了

5. And, because, but 这三个词我们还是经常会用到.其实最好用in addition, therefore, however等代替

6. 不能用vivid 来形容world vivid可以用来说memories或者是dream之类的

7. No one can deny that…/Undoubtedly 这2个词组太绝对了,用来开头并不合适. 其实每个人都能持与你意见相反的态度

8. in a word 很多人会用它来做conclusion. 鬼佬的意见是:如果你准备用这个词组来引出你的观点,那你最好用一个词来概括,谁让你是这么写的呢

9. Meanwhile don’t use in general academic writing or for task 2—but it is ok for describing a process in task 1

10. Nowadays 理由和3差不多, 这个词用在文章里显得太普通了, 老师的原话是it does not mean very much

11. It is a well known fact… 最好不要用, 有的考官会扣分

12. advantages and disadvantages 换成merits and drawback 和pros and cons

13. In my opinion, I dis/agree with this 这是多余的表达. When stating your opinion you follow with a fact 相信大家都能看懂,就不翻译了

14. IELTS文章中千万不能用缩写, 例如I’m 在考场上别犯懒,平时最好也别写缩写,多多注意,养成习惯

15. very不能用来形容delicious, lovely, fantastic, wonderful, amazing, gorgeous and huge.

16. human being MS这个词指的是动物+植物, 以后可以用man kind代替

阅读理解里做题，做到只要出现极端词汇的题，99。************************9％都是错的——相信无论是应试还是别个老师一定说过这句话。

如果这条成立，为什么在自己的作文里还会出现什么as we all know?it can not be denied?

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