Schools claim it's disruptive for parents to eat in the cafeteria.

学校声称家长在自助餐厅用餐会造成混乱。

But parents crave the quality time, and some say it's a good thing for them to be involved with their kids place of leaning.

但父母渴望有质量的时间，有些人说，对他们来说，参与孩子的学习是件好事。

The grade-school lunchroom has long acted as a microcosm of social life.

长期以来，小学食堂一直是社会生活的缩影。

It’s where kids choose whom to sit with, develop friendships, and resolve conflicts.

这是孩子们选择与谁坐在一起、发展友谊和解决冲突的地方。

And lunch is one of the few less-supervised periods in most kids’ school days.

在大多数孩子上学的日子里，午餐是为数不多的监督较少的时段之一。

Over the past several years, however, some school cafeterias have become invaded by a new group: parents.

然而，在过去的几年里，一些学校的自助餐厅已经被一个新的群体入侵：家长。

Twenty years ago, when I was in elementary school, having a parent join you at the lunch table was unthinkable.

20年前，当我上小学的时候，有一位家长和你一起坐在午餐桌上是不可想象的。

Parents or caretakers dropped everyone off in the morning for school, leaving us to grow, play, and learn until we were collected.

父母或看护人早上送每个人去上学，让我们成长、玩耍和学习，直到我们被集合。

But lately, parents are playing a much more active role in their children’s educational lives.

但最近，父母在孩子的教育生活中扮演着更加积极的角色。

According to a September report from Child Trends, a nonprofit research organization focused on children and their family, parental involvement in school is rising.

根据专注于儿童及其家庭的非营利研究组织Child Trends 9月份的一份报告，家长对学校的参与度正在上升。

“In 2016, the percentages of students whose parents reported attending a general meeting at their child’s school, a parent-teacher conference, or a school or class event reached their highest recorded levels,” the report states.

报告指出：“2016年，家长报告参加孩子学校的股东大会、家长教师会议或学校或课堂活动的学生比例达到了有记录以来的最高水平。”

At some schools, swarms of parents wait in line to be escorted into the lunchrooms and sit with their children, some as old as 10, for a meal.

在一些学校，成群的家长排队等候被护送到餐厅，与他们的孩子坐在一起吃饭，有些孩子只有10岁。

One school district in Darien, Connecticut, found its cafeterias so inundated with parents that this week it announced an outright ban on parent-student lunches.

康涅狄格州达里恩的一个学区发现自助餐厅挤满了家长，本周宣布全面禁止家长和学生午餐。

“It feels like a punch in the gut,” Jessica Xu, a parent whose oldest child is in first grade, told the Associated Press after learning of the decision. “I chose the town for the schools. I’m so frustrated the schools don’t want me there.”

“这感觉像是一记重拳，”杰西卡·许（Jessica Xu）在得知这一决定后告诉美联社，她是一位最大的孩子上一年级的家长。“我为学校选择了这个小镇。学校不想让我去那里，我很沮丧。”

As the number of parents joining their kids for a midday meal swells, schools have tried to be accommodating.

随着越来越多的家长和孩子一起吃午饭，学校也在努力适应。

Most schools value parent involvement , but at a certain point it can become disruptive.

大多数学校都重视家长的参与，但在某种程度上，这可能会造成破坏。

A middle-school teacher in Connecticut, who asked to be anonymous since she was not authorized to speak on the record, said that she doesn’t think parent-student lunches are a bad thing, but she has seen them cause issues in the past.

康涅狄格州的一名中学教师因未被授权公开发言而要求匿名，她说，她不认为家长和学生的午餐是件坏事，但她过去曾见过家长和学生午餐会引发问题。

“The parents would bring pizza for some students and not others. It became a little bit of a circus and I do remember feeling like it was disruptive instead of being just a sweet lunch between just the mom and the kid, she said.“I think she was using lunch to try to buy her daughter friends,”the teacher said ofone mom.

“家长会给一些学生带披萨，而不是其他学生。这有点像马戏团，我确实记得当时感觉很有破坏性，而不仅仅是妈妈和孩子之间的甜蜜午餐，”她说。"我想她是在用午餐给女儿买朋友，”老师谈到一位妈妈时说。

Some kids, especially the young ones, begin crying when their mom or dad attempts to leave after lunch.

一些孩子，尤其是年幼的孩子，当他们的父母试图在午饭后离开时，他们开始哭泣。

Other children whose parents aren’t able to visit them (possibly because they’re working) can be left feeling neglected.

其他父母无法探望他们的孩子（可能是因为他们在工作）可能会感到被忽视。

School districts have attempted to thwart these problems by forcing parents to sit with just their own children, sometimes in separate rooms or areas .

学区试图通过强迫家长只和自己的孩子坐在一起来解决这些问题，有时是在单独的房间或区域。

Rogers Middle School in Texas even offers parents and children the opportunity to dine at a “bistro” with fancy-looking chairs to avoid lunchroom disruption.

得克萨斯州的罗杰斯中学甚至为家长和孩子提供了在“小酒馆”用餐的机会，小酒馆里有漂亮的椅子，以避免午餐室受到干扰。

But according to Katelin Chiarella, a second-grade teacher in Hayward, California, schools aren’t doing enough to stem the tide of family lunches.

但据加利福尼亚州海沃德市二年级教师Katelin Chiarella说，学校在阻止家庭午餐潮方面做得不够。

Chiarella bemoaned the trend, which she sees as just another example of helicopter parenting.

Chiarella对这一趋势表示惋惜，她认为这只是直升机育儿的又一个例子。

"Some parents come in and actually spoon-feed their kids, kids who don’t need to be fed,” she says.

她说：“有些父母进来用勺子喂他们的孩子，这些孩子不需要喂食。”

“Some parents make hot lunch at home and bring it to them.” She says that there are at least seven or eight parents a day in her school’s lunchroom. The school has tried to curtail that number, but it hasn’t worked.

"有些家长在家做热午餐，然后把它带给他们。”她说，学校的午餐室每天至少有七到八位家长。学校曾试图减少这一数字，但没有奏效。

“They kept showing up anyway,” Chiarella says.

“不管怎样，他们一直在出现，”Chiarella说。

Parents who do eat with their children said that family lunches are a positive thing.

和孩子一起吃饭的父母说，家庭午餐是一件积极的事情。

If anything,they argue, schools should be encouraging parents to become more active and involved in their children’s school lives.

他们认为，如果有什么不同的话，学校应该鼓励家长更加积极地参与孩子的学校生活。

Sarah Mc Spadden ,a mom and family vlogger who documents her family life on Instagram, said that eating lunch with her third-grade daughter and her daughter’s friends has provided a valuable window into her child’s social life.

Sarah Mc Spadden是一位在Instagram上记录家庭生活的母亲和家庭视频记录者，她说，与三年级的女儿和女儿的朋友一起吃午饭为了解孩子的社交生活提供了一个宝贵的窗口。

"You see what people are eating, not eating, see which kids are throwing food,talking too loud who is sitting by themselves .It's a chance to poke in on your kids' day that you wouldn’t get if you didn’t have lunch with them,” she said. In her district, she says, there are parents who join their children for lunch up to three days a week.

她说：“你可以看到人们在吃什么，不吃什么，看看哪些孩子在扔食物，谁坐着说话声音太大。这是一个在孩子节插话的机会，如果你没有和他们一起吃午饭，你就不会有这样的机会。”她说，在她所在的地区，有些父母每周最多三天和孩子一起吃午饭。

Shamaila Quddusi Jairajpuri,a mom to a second grader in Alameda,Califonia, said that if she doesn’t bring her son homemade hot food for lunch he usually won't eat.“

加利福尼亚州阿拉米达一名二年级学生的母亲Shamila Qudusi Jairajpuri说，如果她午餐不给儿子带自制的热食物，他通常不会吃。“

He says, 'Oh, Mommy, I want to have this [for lunch]’.But if he takes it in the morning, it gets cold… pancakes, after three hours they are cold and rubbery, who wants to eat cold pancakes?” she said.

他说，“哦，妈妈，我想（午餐）吃这个。”但如果他早上吃，它会变冷……煎饼，三个小时后它们又冷又有弹性，谁想吃冷煎饼？”她说。

"My son was a very picky eater in kindergarten. He would go hungry in the morning.I would feel bad because he would not eat.If I'm there,I can make him eat.”

“我儿子在幼儿园时非常挑食。他早上会饿。我会感觉很糟糕，因为他不吃东西。如果我在那里，我可以让他吃。

Through volunteering at school and joining her son for lunches through kindergarten, Jairajpuri has become close with many of the children in her son’s class. “They say, 'Oh, can you open this for me?’; they talk to me about their day,’ she said.

通过在学校做志愿者和在幼儿园和儿子一起吃午饭，Jairajpuri与儿子班上的许多孩子关系密切。“他们说，‘哦，你能帮我打开这个吗？’；他们和我谈论他们的一天，”她说。

While kids in elementary school may be thrilled to have their parents in, especially when they bring food, by middle school it’s safe to guess that most are mortified by the practice.

虽然小学的孩子们可能会很高兴父母能来，尤其是当他们带食物时，但到了中学，可以肯定的是，大多数孩子都对这种做法感到羞愧。

Mc Spadden said she never joins her children in the ninth or 11th grade for lunch. By then, they’re more independent.

McSpadden说，她从来没有和九年级或十一年级的孩子一起吃午饭。到那时，他们更加独立了。

The middle-school teacher from Connecticut said that even though it can feel upsetting to be cut off from what you consider valuable time with your child, it’s important to remember that schools have the best interest of kids at heart.

这位来自康涅狄格州的中学老师说，尽管被切断与孩子相处的宝贵时间会让人感到不安，但重要的是要记住，学校把孩子的最大利益放在心上。

“I know from being an educator for over 12 years... It’s the school’s responsibility to care for the students while they’re in school, and they need to make the best choice possible for the students," she said.

她说：“作为一名12年多的教育工作者，我知道……学校有责任在学生在校期间照顾他们，他们需要为学生做出最好的选择。”。

But David Frankel , a North Carolina entrepreneur who tries to join his kindergartener and fourth grader for a meal at least once a quarter, said that schools should encourage more parent involvement not discourage it.

但北卡罗来纳州的企业家大卫·弗兰克尔（David Frankel）试图每季度至少和他的幼儿园和四年级学生一起吃一顿饭，他说学校应该鼓励更多的家长参与，而不是阻止家长参与。

Besides he added, “nowadays, with most parents working, its hard to find quality time with your kids. After school, you’re dealing with after-school activities or hours of homework. Sometimes lunch is the only uninterrupted quality time you get.”

此外，他补充道，“如今，由于大多数家长都在工作，很难找到与孩子相处的优质时间。放学后，你要处理课后活动或数小时的家庭作业。有时午餐是你唯一能得到的不间断优质时间。”

This may be true, but Frankel admits that school districts are trying to strike a delicate balance . After all, if school lunchtime becomes quality time for kids and their family, then it’s no longer a place for them to learn how to interact with their peers without a parent’s watchful eye.

这可能是真的，但弗兰克尔承认，学区正在努力取得微妙的平衡。毕竟，如果学校午餐时间成为孩子和家人的优质时间，那么在没有家长的注视下，学校午餐时间就不再是他们学习如何与同龄人互动的地方。