5 . Kindness is seen as a true strength, and the success of civilizations (文明) relies on kindness. As parents and teachers, we also teach children from a young age to “be kind to one another” and “treat others the way you want to be treated.”

In addition to being helpful to our interpersonal relationships, research has shown that kindness can even contribute to our well-being. According to the Mayo Clinic, when we perform acts of kindness, the pleasure center in our brain is activated, releasing the stress-reducing hormone (激素). Individuals who volunteer on a regular basis report greater life satisfaction. And what is even greater is that kindness rarely stops with just one person. There can be a positive contagion (扩散) effect, where other people are inspired to be nice if they receive a random act of kindness. The question then arises: Could kindness be harmful to us when it has such clear benefits? Let’s think about this in the workplace or in an organization.

You are the new person on the team and you want to be well-liked and respected by your colleagues. You are a kind person and tell your team, “Let me know how I can help you; I’m always available to help.” Though you may truly mean this, unfortunately there are people in this world who can see your kindness as a weakness. This can lead to you being taken advantage of by others.

Let’s fast forward a year. You have been in your position now for one year, and you are working with the same team. You are noticing that your colleagues continue asking for your help over and over again. In fact, the only time they communicate with you is when they need something. You have been so helpful to your colleagues and there has rarely been any return from them.

In a very broad sense, it is advantageous to be kind to others, and your kind acts will be appreciated (感激) and, perhaps, paid forward. However, you need to be wiling to say “no”. Recognize when your plate is already too full. When people ask you a favor, assess (评估) if you have the time, energy, and attention to give to them. To truly be kind, sometimes you need to be more comfortable saying “no” to others and saying “yes” to yourself.